Ask Laura
A regular feature published exclusively online on the Internet's premier resource for all things holistic, OfSpirit.com
Ask Laura Issue 04
Dear Laura,
I will be moving out of the state I presently live in soon, however my house in this state has not sold yet, and my husband has offered to stay here until it is. My major concern is that I do not feel he will be joining me when the house sells. For two years we have had problems since I found out he cheated on me. We are supposedly trying to work our problems out, but, I get the impression, that he does not really want to. I'm desperately afraid he will cheat again, and doesn't really love me at all. I am very confused, and don't know where to turn. What are your thoughts on this?
--Jan
Dear Jan,
Having him stay behind to oversee the house sale is not necessary. A good realtor can take care of that for you. It is understandable to have concerns over more infidelity once you have been betrayed, but I think the bigger issue is what, if anything, has been done to assure you he wouldn't? What did you each learn from that painful time? What are you BOTH willing to do to promote healing in the marriage?
Relationships are a two way street. Each partners must do their share of work. If one partner is willing and the other one isn't, you can't just compensate for their share. Without restored trust, real peace and happiness will always be out of reach. Having to keeping an eye on someone at all times is not a marriage partnership; it is a sentence.
It seems to me that you already know that things are quite shaky between you and your husband. The bigger question I need to ask you is why are you willing to stay in a relationship where you don't believe you are loved? Don't you think you are worth more? This may be something you can discuss with a good counselor. I wish you peace.
Dear Laura,
I often hear about people feeling the presence, or getting signs from their loved one who passed away. My father died about a year and a half ago, where were very close since I was a baby, and I loved him very much. I look for signs that he is around me, but I don't see or feel his presence. Am I doing something wrong or trying to hard? Please give me some info on what I could do to let me know he is near? Thank you.
--Mary Ann Jesuino
Dear Mary Ann,
I hear this question a lot. The problem is that we are wired here on earth with a much more linear mind than universal energy. The signs can be all around us and we dismiss them--for lack of certainty or 'proof.' Try to relax and let go of the idea of connecting with him at all. Sometimes trying too hard can shut down the flow of things. I suggest you make a synchronicity journal. Start by banishing the word coincidence from your vocabulary. Every time we call something a coincidence, we are missing an opportunity to connect in with The Other Side. Make a habit to jot down all the synchronistic things that are happening on a daily or weekly basis. Use gratitude to talk to your father, with faith that he does indeed hear you, and then watch for the synchronistic signs....hearing his laughter, times when he would say 'way to go!', having electrical interferences with lights, or phones, or electronics. Affirm that: "despite appearances, everything in my life is working for good. And so it is. Amen." Remember, our loved ones are doing the best they can. Only the language they use to talk with us has changed, that is all. Love is eternal.
Dear Laura,
I had a reading with you this past fall. I don't want to start depending on psychics to figure out my life but it's about my former boyfriend. After I finally decided to move on with my life, and things were going good, he popped back up out of the blue. We talked and it looks like he wants me back. I guess I need encouragement or something because my strength around him is not good. What should I do?
--Misha
Dear Misha,
HE wants you back? What happened to what you wanted? Empowered women don't predicate their lives on the whim of a man, honey. They stay focused and on course. They make choices that are healthy for them. Remember, the Universe will test you to see if you really are getting it:
Sally: "I'll never do that again!"
The Universe: "hey, did you hear that, Sally says she'll never do that again, let's send her a pop quiz to see if she really means it!" and viola! a test is born.
If a partner is emotionally healthy, they'll wait for you to be ready. With no fuss. If they are not healthy enough to wait, why the heck would you want them? (...unless you've convinced yourself that this is the absolute last chance on earth for you to ever be loved....which simply isn't true!).
Dear Laura,
Should we follow a religion to believe in God, or live our lives and see what happens after death?
--Rene Starink, Crete, Greece
Dear Rene,
Great question! In contrast to some powerful religious factions, I believe that we are each free to worship in the way that feels right and comfortable to us. Despite their pontifications, no single organized religion has the inside 'track to God'. Could you imagine a God who would only let the Baptists in?, or just the Jews?, or the Hindus?, or only the Christians? That's ridiculous! We need to leave room for all interpretations, and to increase our understanding and tolerance for all people, on all places of the path.
The little boy in China who meditates everyday and prays to Buddha, the girl in Ireland faithfully attending services at church each Sunday, the couple in Jerusalem lighting their first menorah, the family in the Midwest baptizing their baby, the man in Rome who scatters his wife's ashes at a candlelight service, the nurse in Canada giving Reiki to her patient long after her shift ended...each one of these people are linked by their faith and their willingness to participate in a ritual onto God, the Great Unseen Healing Force, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, and so many more.
Do what feels right to you. Explore as many or as few religious practices as you like. Open your horizon to sample and embrace whatever aspects of organized religion that feel good to you. Leave room to discover the God of your understanding. If the organization of things turn you off, consider a more native American approach, and let nature be your inspiration. (How DO those birds know when to migrate south and when to return? How does a butterfly travel thousands of miles? Why did those elephants cry when they came upon the bones of their brother who had died? What is it that gets a tiny seed, the size of dot, to turn into a wonderful tree?...and so on...)
Whatever your choice, whatever your upbringing, remember--spirituality and religion are often two entirely different things. It is possible to be a highly spiritual person and never embrace any particular religion or church. Likewise, it is possible to be highly religious and be lacking spirituality. You are free to choose and evolve. God loves you any way! Just be a kind and decent human being, do your best, do good where you can, and I'll see you on The Other Side.
Dear Laura,
Yesterday, I thought I would treat myself to an early birthday gift and, following some careful research on the OfSpirit website, booked an appointment with a psychic medium of high repute. I have always been interested in these things and have had some prior experiences many years ago which hinted at there being more to life. The medium was a nice man and the reading was so far off base it was, well silly, and provided zero validation for me. Based on this, I keep feeling as thought I want to cry and that all of this spirit stuff is garbage. What can I do about this crisis of faith?
--D
Dear D,
I am sorry that your experience was such a let down. Although we psychic mediums are human and do have bad days, most reputable professionals would be open to hearing from you and talking with you about your concerns.
This is also why it's so important when choosing a professional that you listen to your own intuition and how you feel about their voice, their office, their ability to interact with you , etc. - and to choose a practitioner that you feel drawn to. Remember, the intuitive arts are not a one size fits all. And one bad reading does not mean the whole thing is bunk--just like one bad dentist does not make them all quacks, or one friend's idea of a perfect meal may be the complete opposite from yours.
The one thing you need to hold onto here is your faith. Use this experience as a way to learn and to grow. What can you do differently in the future to help ensure a good reading? First, use your intuition to be guided to the right practitioner at the right time. We are all different, some specializing in different things than others. Find the right match. Second, examine your expectations. Make sure that you are keeping it reasonable. Third, plan your session for when you have time to slow down and relax, perhaps doing some breathing or meditating on your intentions and expectations beforehand. Fourth: Remember that you have the power to end a session if you are uncomfortable, and that ultimately, you are always responsible for you.
Laura Scott is an internationally renown psychic, spiritual teacher and channel for healing. Her mission is to help people with the work of the soul and provide insight on their life journey.
Ask Laura is a published advice column imparting spiritual advice for yourself, your neighbor, pets, family matters, dreams, work situations, health, relationships, and more. Questions are evaluated for publication use on an overall basis for helping others. For questions in which a response would be relative only to you, we strongly recommend that you schedule a private reading. If you have something that you would like to ask Laura, send your brief question to: Ask Laura@ancientstardust.com.
Ask Laura is a regular bimonthly column featured exclusively on-line on the internets premier resource for all things holistic, OfSpirit.com. Submission of question is considered permission to publish for use in future columns.